My family would tell me that, "Yes, God does love you, and Jesus truly is the Son of God." Their answers would never waiver from that. To me, my situation seemed to be like a scab (that may be kind of gross) but the more I picked at it the worse it became. I wanted to believe, but just like Thomas, I had honest doubt.
The devil would torture me with thoughts like: God doesn't love you, Jesus is not the Son of God, and God is lying to you. These thoughts would be so bad that it would cause me to have bad dreams. God finally helped me to realize how much the devil wants to destroy me and how Satan doesn't want me to be a witness for God. Any way that he could defeat me and mess with my mind he would do it, because he knew that if he could cause me to have doubt then I couldn't be the light to others that God wants me to be.
Finally, I was able to believe with my heart and not my head. God wants me to talk to Him and ask Him for help in every situation I face. Even in the small things that I may seem to think aren't big enough to ask God about, He wants me to. It is His desire that I talk to Him.
I have recieved a book for my birthday this year that has helped me alot. The title of it is "Jesus Calling." Through reading it, I am learning to put my faith in God, and not my works. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells me to, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." When I don't understand, I will trust Jesus. In John 20:29, Jesus says, "Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed." John 10:10 says, "The thief cometh not but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." Jesus did come so that I could have life and have it more abundantly. He wants me to live a victorious life, and to remember that greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.
God has helped me to learn from this, that my family's answers were always the same because God is always the same. He never changes. His love for me never changes. He really is the Son of God, and He loves me with an everlasting love. These experiences have helped me to realize that by prayer and Bible reading, as in Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things, through Christ which strengtheneth me." Life is a journey that I am on and it is by the grace of God that I am now able to write this. I want to give God the praise, honor and glory because no one else loves me like He does.
-Colten Bass age 15, May 2014