"Instead of bringing the me I want to be to you I’m bringing the me I am now. I still have unholy desires, I don’t want to want them, but there are times I do want them and pursue their satisfaction. I have weaknesses I feel lonely at times I want to be liked by others, The turmoil isn’t whether I am free or not but whether or not I am willing to walk in that freedom, the door to the prison was removed as soon as I accepted Christ as my savior, but I find myself staying in the open cage freedom is there but I stay in the familiar surroundings of my cage, I walk out and enjoy spurts of freedom but return to the cage. Sometimes the returning is produced when I start to lose myself (the me I’ve known for so long) when personality starts to change. If the flesh is dead then personality will change I can’t hang on to pieces of myself and enjoy the freedom that comes from full pursuit of God. I can’t fully pursue God if I’m standing stationary in my cage. Pretending to be free doesn’t make me free, professing to be free doesn’t make me free , it’s Jesus who makes me free, the bars of my prison is made up of the pieces of myself I’m not willing to let go of, the shackles are unlocked no longer holding onto me but I find myself holding onto them, the war between who I’m to be and who I was is fought on the battleground of who I am, discovery of the person I am in your freedom is daily, your freedom is so great it takes a lifetime to realize it, like a mansion with many rooms and each new day I can open a door to a room to discover the treasure inside everyday brings opportunity to discover who I am in your freedom. My past doesn’t tell me who I am, but it is your word. God I let go of who I’ve been and even who I am, and ask for you to help me to discover who I am in your freedom, change what you wish to change create what you wish to create and when things get tough when I’m struggling to let go give me the strength and remind me of this time with you."